The Optimist

I presented my lecture, "Adventures in E-Publishing", a few weeks ago to the members of the local Optimists Club. Since they called me only a week before the meeting, my guess is that a speaker backed out or they had none at all scheduled. Only twelve people showed up-eleven businessmen and one lady. However, I am willing to speak to any size group, especially if the gig includes a free meal. I can highly recommend the barbecued brisket with sauce at Freddie's Not So Famous Barbecue now.

Being Optimists, the group listened politely, laughed at my jokes, and looked somewhat askance at my hot book cover. Among my comments, I noted I had yet to make a cent on Goals for a Sinner and was still recouping my expenses. In the end, the lady bought a copy and one of the gentlemen got a book for his mother and let me keep the change from a twenty, the most anyone has paid for a single copy of my work, except maybe that $1,200 offer on Amazon. The Optimists are good people.

But what am I getting at with this post? The Optimists Club has a pledge they recite at the opening of each meeting about keeping a positive attitude. It wouldn't make a bad creed for an author, too. Don't speak ill of anyone and keep trying to make the world a better place - in my case by writing books that make people smile at the end. We all need a little escape from our problems in this world, and I provide that. If I never break even writing, at least I have done that.

What my Accountant Said

You know all those tax deductions for writers I wrote about in my last blog? Well, I carefully gathered all my documentation of my expenses and submitted them along with an explanatory note, the hot cover of my upcoming book, and my regular tax stuff. Ring, Ring! It's my accountant, the one I had to get after we inherited stocks, and I could no longer figure out our taxes. To give him credit, he has saved us much money over the years. Very gently, he says, "Miss Lynn (did I mention we live in the South?") about these writing expenses. Now you aren't trying to earn your living this way because there is a difference between a hobby and a real business, you know." I assured him I had a book coming out in April and would someday have royalties, maybe even enough to cover those $1,700 in expenses. The wheels turn. I know he is thinking, "Poor lady paid someone to print her book, and now she has all these losses." I say, "Really, I write four or five hours a day, and it's taken me five years to get this book printed by a real publisher." He mullls that over. "Tell you what, why don't we claim these expenses next year against any royalties you might get." Okay, didn't know you could do that. And that's why he is the accountant, and I am an author--maybe.

Little Fishes

I've come to think of authors as a vast school of little, silver fishes endlessly circling in a vast ocean and hoping to be landed. The publishers, those huge sharks who take most of the risks and make most of the profits, usually pass us by. Editors, toothy barracudas who intimidate the authors into writing better books, come next in the hierachy. Then, the agents-I'd say they are remoras, but most of us don't make enough to feed a remora. No, agents have always seemed more like fishermen to me. They stand on the shore pulling in many fishes, throwing all but one or two back, seeming all-powerful.
Recently, I got a message from a young agent I'd approached. I was surprised to be on her mailing list since she'd turned me down pleasantly but firmly. She hadn't changed her mind, but rather was announcing the closure of her agency. I was sorry to hear that. Sometimes I forget if the publishers aren't taking on new clients, the younger agents don't thrive either. In the RWR magazine, nearly all the first sales have gone to e-pubs and small presses in the last year or so, no profit for agents there. Lots of casualities in this economy, and it is not only tough on us small fishes either.

GIFTS FOR AUTHORS

I'm nearly out of black ink for my printer again. Might I suggest the classic gift for an author of a couple of ink cartridges and reams of good white paper? To be honest, I do nearly all my writing, editing, and submissions by computer and use the printer mostly for my drafts. You can never have too many backups of any kind. So, how about a nice titanium thumb drive or other off-computer storage device to guard against viruses and meltdowns? Doesn't have to be titanium, but I like the idea of owning something made of space ship material. A laser printer would be dandy, too, but costly and not really necessary to your success as a writer. Still, laser anything is cool: printer, hair removal, surgery if needed.
The second you sign a contract, a request will appear asking for a promotional photo. My last good picture was taken six years ago and so I sent that. Budding authors, you might want to hint for a photo sessions with your best local photographer. I did and got new pics for my birthday. Sad that I now look older, but my best feature, my smile, remains the same. Warning: this can get expensive as it is probably a good idea to purchase the copyright to the photos as well.
And the best gift you can give any published author-buy their book and tell them how much you love it.